1. I see...
  2. I care...
  3. I will...

Take personal responsibility - don’t assume someone else will do something!

Be aware of your surroundings so you can Step Up!

We each influence the community we live in - choose to care!

YOU have the power to change an outcome for someone in a risky situation

Do Something!

I Will...

Step Up! and take action!

  1. Notice the event
  2. Interpret the event as a problem
  3. Assume personal responsibility
  4. Know how to help - all interventions must be safe, early, and effective
  5. Step Up! by implementing the help

These guidelines can be used in any bystander intervention.

Sometimes Stepping Up can happen in the form of a difficult conversation with a friend.

The following is a guideline for friends helping friends by starting a conversation about their concerns.

I care

  1. Let your friend know that you value them as an important part of your life which is why you feel the need to discuss something.
  2. Start and end the discussion with an emphasis that you are doing this out of genuine concern, caring, and respect. This sandwiches the difficult conversation between strong positives.

I see

  1. Describe the behaviors as you observed them.
  2. Be specific and avoid hearsay.
  3. Remember: you’re criticizing the behavior, not the person.

I feel

  1. Use “I statements,” to state your feelings rather than saying, “You have a problem,” which can feel like a personal attack.
  2. Strive to be non-judgmental, honest, and supportive.

I wonder

  1. Ask your friend how they are feeling about what you have discussed.
  2. Be open to their responses and focus on active listening.
  3. If they indicate concerns about their behaviors, encourage them for any positive steps they have already taken.

I will (go with you to get help, be here to support you, etc.)

  1. Remind your friend that you will support them in whatever healthy steps they identify.
  2. Let them know you want to help them make a change.
  3. Remind them that there are limits to your ability to help, and you will not enable their unhealthy behaviors.
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